If you’re reading this, you’ve probably already noticed the bottle of Aquafina missing from the office fridge – and I can explain. You see, I drink Nestle Pure Life and also keep my bottles in that fridge… the two look very similar, what with the blue labels and all. And what are the chances that we’d both select the 16.9 ouncer?
The thing is, the lights were off and it was dark in there. I didn’t turn the lights off, Darlene did it! She’s always going on about not working for the electric company or some such nonsense. If we need someone to blame – why not blame her? Had the lights been on I’m sure I would never have mistaken your water for mine, taken it from the refrigerator, emptied it and then hid the bottle under the papers in my trash can.
I proffer to you as a peace offering a bottle of my own water, nicely chilled and enhanced with minerals for taste. It is yours for the taking. And if you’re still angry with me, then… well… I’m pretty sure I heard Darlene calling you fat earlier.
On your side,
Lesley
fat? FAT??? ROFLMBO!
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