Dear man who just won £35 million in the lottery,

Hello, how YOU doin'? I'll cut right to the chase: I hear you're single, I happen to be single too. Why not marry me and end your singledom? I can learn to enjoy any of your hobbies and even if I don't like your friends, I can pretend that I do (I'm actually already very good at this).

Obviously, my cooking and housekeeping skills are irrelevant as your new fortune will easily supply us with a fully staffed home. And now I know what you're thinking, but no, it won't be difficult for me to adjust to the lavish lifestyle. And supervising the help will be no problem either. I think I'll do it quite well, actually.

If you take a few minutes to think it over I'm sure that you will realize, as I have, that this is a win/win situation! No one loses! Now do the smart thing and give me a call...

Ready to shop for an embarrassingly large engagement ring,

Lesley